What Your Brain Hears When You Say “Don’t”
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Why does the very thing we are trying to avoid happen so often? A golfer not wanting to slice the ball into the water ends up doing that very thing. The more we think we don’t want to fail, the more likely we are to have everything go wrong.
Our brain can understand the word don’t from a language comprehension point of view. The challenge is that our brain often activates the image or action first before suppressing it. If I say, “Don’t think about a pink elephant”, What is the first thing you thought about? Our brain performs best when it has a direction, target, movement goal, or plan that focuses on the things we need to do in order to set ourselves up for a successful outcome. Instead of saying want you don’t want, say what you do want. A golfer wanting to avoid the water could focus on where they want to aim on the left side of the fairway, how strong of grip they want, or the track of their back swing and follow through. If you don’t want to think about pink elephants, you could say “Think about blue elephants” in order to give your brain something else to focus on.
Sometimes negative cognitions and doubts, such as believing you are not good enough, can be automatic responses or coping strategies established in response to past experiences or even childhood. Those experiences may be something similar to what you are currently facing, such as a past experience hitting into the water on the 18th hole and losing the tournament after being in the lead, or something quite different such as childhood bullying and challenges with friendships where you felt like you did not measure up.
Automatic nervous system responses can make it challenging to reframe your thoughts. In fact, you may feel like your brain gets busier the harder you try. Treatments such as Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy can help process these negative thought patterns and shift them into more adaptive beliefs that serve you going forward. Identifying and processing the root cause of these beliefs can be a key factor for high performance and establishing confidence.
To find out more about utilizing your brain for peak performance and reaching your potential, book a free consultation and/or first session at https://toniaandersonpsychology.janeapp.com or email Tonia at tonia@toniaandersonpsycholocolgy.ca to get started.
Tonia Anderson is a Registered Psychologist (RPsych), former elite athlete and executive leadership coach, specializing in health and performance psychology. With over 25 years in peak performance, she has worked with junior, amateur, and professional athletes competing at local, provincial, national, and international levels including World Championships, Olympic Trials, Pan-Am Games, and more. Tonia works with business executives, emerging leaders, youth, first responders and individuals wanting to achieve their career, sport, and life goals.